I had another blog post half way drafted. The post was going to be about why I didn’t post last week (I was sick) and why laughter is indeed the best medicine. (I may just finish that one and post it later this week. Two in one week? Say whattt!) But as I was writing that post, Kendrick Lamar’s Poetic Justice came through on my playlist. I’ve heard this song countless of times. It’s actually one of my favorites of his. But, this time when I heard “If a flower bloomed in a dark room, would you trust it?”, it spoke to me on a different level.
If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you know that I’ve gone through some bullshit. From getting kicked out of school to trying to make it through the day without breaking from my fibromyalgia. I’ve actually gone through some other things that I will discuss in due time but, regardless, I’ve gone through some mess. A lot by myself. Not because I don’t have a support system. I do and they’re amazing as ever but, because as I’ve said before, I’m a closed person and like to keep things to myself. So, essentially, I was going through it all alone, in the dark.
As I was in my metaphorical dark room, little did I know everything I was going through would eventually help me start my blooming process.
I’m not a flower yet, but I feel my roots sprouting. Things have being going well in my life lately (like, I’m enrolled in school and start on Monday. Ayyeee!). I feel the growth. I know my roots may get weak and break but, just like a flower, I will grow new ones. Once my roots become grounded, my buds will start to form, and I’ll eventually become a flower. I haven’t figured out what flower I’ll be though. I guess I’ll let life surprise me. (I hope not a sunflower. They’re pretty but, they face directly towards the sun. I don’t like the heat, so being pointed directly towards the sun isn’t for me. I’m not ’bout that life.) I’m still learning to come out of the dark room though. It’s a work in progress. So, until I fully find my way out, I’ll continue with my blooming process because it seems to be working.
So the next time you hear Kendrick ask that question, trust it. Because you’re witnessing first hand a flower blooming in a dark room.